Celebrating that I AM Celebrating!

Today, there are 62 candles on my cake!

Today, I’m 62 years old and celebrating a new understanding!

I used to pay little attention to birthdays and didn’t care if I were working or not, whether anyone noticed or not, whether anyone made a cake or not, or … anything else. But things have changed.

Last year, I took an assessment that changed my life. It’s kind of funny, actually, because I can’t say that I was ever a fan of assessments. But this one intrigued me. It was about marketing styles, and the idea was that if you knew what yours was, it would be easier to find your clients. It fit right into what I was doing with holistic practitioners, and I thought it might help them, so I took it and the course that went with it.

Little did I know or even suspect that taking this 25-minute survey would have the impact it did on my marriage, my relationship with my kids, my feelings about my deceased father, my place in my family and the Feldenkrais® community, and my ability to feel comfortable among my trainer colleagues — who may never have known how uncomfortable I felt around them!

It seems like a reasonable thing to talk about on this day, because I feel really different on this birthday than I ever have before. Silly as it may seem to say it, I feel reborn. I feel grateful to be alive, I feel happy, maybe for the first time in my life. I feel so thankful for the years ahead that can be different from the years past!

I am very grateful to be working with the practitioners — Feldenkrais® colleague and other holistic practitioners, as well — who find my help essential in building their practices. I am so happy when I see people I really believe in (and if you’re reading this, you’re one of them even if we’ve never met!), taking steps to bring themselves just far enough outside their individual comfort zones to realize how much they have to offer to the people who need them, and adventurous enough to go there and offer it to them… and see the difference it makes in their lives, and the lives of the people they touch.

I am so grateful to have found my real purpose in being here. After all these years, I feel like I’ve come home, come to the place where I understand my gift, understand the difference between me and my Feldenkrais® trainer colleagues — and feel like I can exult in it, rather than apologize for it. I know now what I offer to Feldenkrais® practitioners who doubt themselves, who don’t know what to do next, who fear they may never be ‘good enough,’ and who wonder if they’ll ever have the practice they dreamt about during their training. I know that I’m different, and I’m no longer trying to be ‘the same’ — and that’s what people who need and want my help are looking for.

What is my gift? My gift is that I know that you are good enough. That you have what it takes to get the practice you want, and that you can be who you are without having to apologize for not being who you think you should be… because your Ideal Clients are looking for exactly who you are, and don’t want anyone else! They won’t settle for less than you, and in order to have the practice you dream of, all you really need to do is be the person you already are, visibly and with the awareness you already know so much about.

And so this is my gift to you, on my 62nd birthday:
Whether we know each other or not, whether you work with me or not, whether you find yourself attracted to what I offer or not, I am here holding space for you to be who you are, succeed in your work and make a living doing to the work you love.

Happy, happy day, whether it’s your birthday or not!

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4 Responses to Celebrating that I AM Celebrating!

  1. Movementlearningsystems says:

    I’m very happy for you.  May the coming year bring even more insight and joy.

    Jesse

  2. Awesome post, Allison!! Happy Belated Birthday 🙂  I have to agree, that the assessment was quite an eye opener. I had no idea that it had the impact that it did on you. That makes me so very very happy for you. I think that the idea that we are all different and relate to each other differently depending on our style, is something that should be looked at further and used as far back as maybe elementary school. There would be less hurt feelings and a whole lot more feeling good about ourselves and our role in our communities/families/etc. As far as our ideal clients, I love what you say about them looking for “us” just as we are and not settling for less. I hadn’t thought about it quite that way! Love it and love you for bringing it up 🙂 Again, thanks for the post. Beautiful!!

    • Allison Rapp says:

      Thanks, Carmen!
      Oh MY! — Wouldn’t it be an awesome world, if kids were accepted by each other and their teachers?? And if their strengths were valued and encouraged at least as much as their weaknesses were pointed out and pushed in their faces?

      I’m going to miss you in April. I hope we’ll see each other on one of your trips to Sacramento!
      xo, Allisoni

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